Why dream jobs are a nightmare for ADHDers
For 16 years, I wore a mask.
On the outside, I looked like I had it all figured out—a successful recruiting career, climbing the ladder, checking all the "right" boxes.
But on the inside? I was completely drained.
I spent every day pretending:
☑ Pretending I was more organized than I was.
☑ Pretending I cared about goals that weren't even mine.
☑ Pretending I could keep up with the hustle without breaking.
Masking became second nature. It was the only way I knew how to survive in a career that didn't fit the way my brain worked.
And whenever I tried to ask for guidance, the advice was always the same:
"Create a plan and stick to it."
"Lean into your strengths."
"Just stay consistent."
I tried. Over and over again.
But the advice was too surface-level. It told me what to do, but it never helped me figure out how to make it work for my ADHD brain. Instead of helping, it made me feel more stuck—like I was failing at something everyone else seemed to understand.
If you have ADHD, you've probably been there too.
And if you've ever felt like you're spinning your wheels or stuck in a loop of burnout, it's not because you're lazy or unfocused.
It's because the system wasn't built for you.
Why Conventional Career Advice Doesn't Work
Here's the problem with most career advice:
It's built for neurotypical brains.
For ADHD professionals, the advice that's supposed to help often makes things worse. Let's break it down:
1️⃣ "Stick to a plan."
Sounds simple, right? Except for ADHD minds, rigid plans can trigger perfectionism. The moment things go slightly off track, our brains go into all-or-nothing mode: If I can't do this perfectly, why bother at all?
2️⃣ "Stay consistent."
But ADHD energy and focus fluctuate constantly. Expecting consistency is like expecting perfect weather every day—it's unrealistic and sets us up for failure.
3️⃣ "Find your dream job."
The dream job advice is the trickiest of all. It sounds inspiring in theory, but in practice, it often does more harm than good. For people with ADHD, the idea of a "dream job" can feel so abstract and distant that it's paralyzing.
The gap between where you are and where you want to be feels overwhelming.
And when something feels too far away, our brains freeze.
The Dream Job Trap
I fell into the dream job trap hard.
For years, I convinced myself that if I could just find that one perfect role, everything would click into place. I searched endlessly, only to end up more exhausted and confused.
Every time I thought about taking a step toward a big goal, my brain filled with doubts:
"I'll never get there."
"I'm already far behind."
"Why am I even bothering?"
Cue the procrastination. Cue the overwhelm. Cue the RSD spiral.
And then I learned something that changed everything:
Dream-adjacent jobs > Dream jobs.
What's a Dream-Adjacent Job?
A dream-adjacent job isn't the "final destination"—it's a role that gets you closer to your dream job without the pressure of perfection.
It's in the same neighborhood as your dream job, but it's easier to reach. It gives you a chance to explore, grow, and build momentum without feeling stuck.
For example:
➝ Want to work in content marketing but don't have the experience? Try a communications role at a company where you can learn on the job.
➝ Dreaming of a career in tech but feeling overwhelmed? Look for roles in adjacent industries—customer success, operations, or training—and build from there.
➝ Considering a creative role but not ready to take the leap? Freelance on the side, or join a project team in your current job.
Dream-adjacent jobs take the pressure off.
You're no longer aiming for a massive leap—you're just taking a small step in the right direction.
And here's the best part:
When you're in a dream-adjacent role, you're already in the right space. The opportunities that once felt distant start to appear right in front of you.
How This Shift Helped Me
When I finally let go of the idea that I needed to find my dream job right now, everything started to change.
I left recruiting and explored roles that were adjacent to what I wanted: roles in career coaching, training, and content creation.
Each step felt manageable. And with every role, I got closer to the kind of work that really lit me up.
The dream-adjacent mindset gave me room to pivot and grow. It helped me see that progress doesn't have to be perfect—it just has to be forward.
How to Find Your Dream-Adjacent Job
Ready to think dream-adjacent? Here's how to get started:
1️⃣ Reflect on What Energizes You
Start by identifying the pieces of your work that bring you to life. This might not be obvious at first—especially if your current job drains you.
Ask yourself:
When do I feel "in flow" at work? (Even if it's just 10 minutes a day.)
What kinds of tasks do I naturally gravitate toward, even when I'm procrastinating on other things?
When was the last time I felt proud of something I created or contributed to?
Sometimes, the answer isn't in your formal job description—it's in the side projects, mentoring moments, or casual problem-solving that lights you up.
Pro tip: If you're stuck, ask a trusted friend or colleague when they've seen you at your best. Often, other people see patterns that we overlook.
2️⃣ Identify What Dream-Adjacent Means for You
Once you've identified what energizes you, it's time to think beyond the typical "dream job" label. Instead of focusing on a specific title, get curious about:
Industries: What industries align with your interests or values? (e.g., You love writing—does that mean content marketing? Internal communications?)
Work Styles: Do you thrive in fast-paced environments, or do you need more structure and stability?
Skill Overlap: What roles use the skills you love, even if they're not your dream job on paper?
Here's a practical framework to use:
Passion + Practical Skills = Dream-Adjacent Opportunities
Example: If you're passionate about teaching but burned out on education, a dream-adjacent role might be corporate training or instructional design.
Keep it broad at first. The goal isn't to find the exact job yet—it's to expand the map of possibilities—and then zoom in one level at a time.
3️⃣ Leverage Your Network the Right Way
Finding dream-adjacent roles is easier when you know how to tap into your network. But here's the trick: You're not asking for a job—you're asking for insight and introductions.
When reaching out, be clear and curious.
What to say in an email or LinkedIn message:
"I'm exploring new opportunities in [industry/role] and would love your advice. I'm particularly curious about roles where [insert skill/passion] is a focus. Would you be open to a quick conversation?"
During the conversation, focus on learning, not pitching yourself.
Here are a few questions to ask:
"What do you love most about your role or industry?"
"What skills do you think are most valuable for someone just starting in this space?"
"Can you think of anyone else I should talk to?"
These conversations open doors—and those doors lead to opportunities you might never have considered.
4️⃣ Work with a Coach (or Find a Mentor)
A career coach or mentor can help you spot dream-adjacent roles and hold you accountable, but you need to ask the right questions to get the most out of the experience.
Here's how to make the most of it:
Questions to ask a coach:
"Can you help me identify patterns in my experience that I might not be seeing?"
"What roles or industries do you think align with my strengths?"
"How can I structure my job search so I don't get overwhelmed?"
Working with a mentor? Use them to reality-check your ideas:
"Does this role sound like it fits my skills and values?"
"What do you wish you knew when you first started in this industry?"
5️⃣ Take Small, Consistent Steps
Once you have a clearer idea of your dream-adjacent possibilities, focus on taking small steps. Don't aim for perfection—just aim for progress.
Here's a simple way to break it down:
➝ Spend 15 minutes researching jobs that meet your new criteria.
➝ Test out a new skill or interest through a side project.
➝ Set up one informational interview per week.
The key is momentum. Dream-adjacent jobs build confidence and experience, helping you move closer to your ultimate goals—without the pressure of a perfect plan.
Dream-adjacent thinking opens doors you didn't know were there.
You're not settling—you're expanding. And each small step forward is getting you closer to the work that genuinely lights you up.
If you take one thing away from this, let it be this...
Chasing the perfect dream job can feel like chasing a mirage—it’s always just out of reach.
But dream-adjacent jobs?
They're real.
They're absolutely doable.
And they'll get you where you want to go.
So take a deep breath.
Let go of the pressure to "have it all figured out."
Start where you are, and trust that each step will bring you closer.
What's your dream-adjacent move?
I'd love to hear it.
Cheers,
David
PS) Stuck chasing the ‘perfect’ dream job? Reply and share what’s holding you back—your dream-adjacent opportunity might be closer than you think.
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